Kazar

Fact, i am an undecisive person. Fiction, i have a good plan to start of my life next year. I recieved an email today from Petronas as I quote “the time has come, please fill in the excel file when and where you would like to go back home to malaysia….. and all the best for your finals :)”. Wow, it’s that quick. 4 years of great time here will end in a few months. How sad.

If you are among my closest friends, you will know that i planned to stay and work here in Australia next year. My argument back then is that I have someone here and I will get higher salary. It is not that i want to leave my beloved family in Malaysia, i want them to get a better life and working here will surely help that.

But, as it turns out, it is not about you sending them back some money to them every month. You need to be there for them. They brought me up to be what I am now. All of the hard labours that they had been through all these years. I don’t even want to put myself in their positions if i have a choice.

Decision to leave Australia for good is not an easy one for me. If i stayed here, which companies will want to hire me because of my results? I am not that smart in this mechanical field. I wish dancing infront of a broken machine will fix it and increasing its efficiency but this is not how real world works. Talent (cheh perasan) does not always compliments ur career.

Then, the biggest of them all. I am leaving my love here in Australia. The time we had together is not going to be replaced by webcam-ing or calling each other everyday for the next 10 years. Enough about that before i get too emotional.

So, what will i do next year? Well, my plan is i will go back in middle of January to Kuala Lumpur and register straight away with Petronas for my first offical job. Exciting? Maybe. If i work in KL, i will live in my mum’s apartment. Its empty anyway. I hope they will send me in R&D related to alternative fuel. At least it is related to my thesis.

Then in May, i will come back to Australia for graduation ceremony with my parents. I dont want to plan further than that, i will let the “free-market” to determine my direction in life. A lot of drama for sure. I will learn from mistakes, advices etc.

a famous Malay proverb, just to end this entry;

“Hujan emas di negeri orang, Hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik di negeri sendiri”

cheers!